Thankfulness

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Be Thankful for what you have, because someone my never be given that chance. Whether it is be being able to have children, owning a car or house, having food on the table, or running water. 

In these past months I’ve been trying to stay positive, and move forward. Some days are harder than others, when knowing God took my daughters so soon. So, this thanksgiving, I need to remind myself that I am thankful for everything God has given me. 

Lord, I'm struggling show me what I have to be thankful for:

1. I can see
2. I can walk
3. I have shelter
4. I have never gone hungry
5. I have a family that loves me
6. I have great friends
7. I have a bed
8. I have a computer
9. I have clean running water
10. I can hear
11. I have a job
12. I have a cell phone
13. My health is good
14. I have a bathroom
15. I have 5 nieces and nephews
16. I have plenty of clothes
17. I can read
18. I own a car
19. I gave birth to twins
20. I am alive

 Thank you God for giving me life; Amen.

"Thankfulness is the defense against materialism"

Heaven's Nursery

In Heaven there must surely be
A special place, a nursery
Where 'little spirits' not fully grown
Go to live in their Heavenly home.

The angels must attend with love
Tiny spirits on wings of doves,
The choir of angels must sing lullabies
Maybe quieten their tiny cries.

The Father must come by each day
To cuddle and play in a special way
These tiny spirits left earth too soon

These sparks of life did not perish
But came to the Father's love to cherish,
To grow and be taught in His own arms
Safely away from all earthly harm.

The comforter was sent to earth at once
To the parents who lost their little one
Their hearts so ache, their arms feel empty
The question 'why' seems so tempting.

Then all at once in the midst of tears
There comes a peace that stills the fears
The parents share the Father's own need
To hold their tiny spirit being.

They relinquish their own desperate hold
And release their baby to the Father's fold,
Then comes an angel to whisper the truth
Of a nursery in Heaven bearing rich fruit

Of tiny spirits chosen to worship the Father
A place that couldn't be filled by another,
Called to be spared from the struggles of earth,
Chosen to be one of Heaven's births.

So Father, whisper words of love from me
To our baby in your nursery.

Flowers

I found these beautiful flowers for Faith and Hope. 

Pink for Faith and Purple for Hope. 

Visiting their place they lay to rest, is hard. It is hard because I always remember the last day I spent with them. I remember kissing them a million times. I remember not wanting to let them go. I love them more than anyone will ever know. A piece of me is gone. Going to there funeral was like I was attending my own. A part of me left. But a new part is growing. My faith. My faith is growing more and more. The more I go the more I feel connected to my angels. I love going to church. I get so emotional and it's so moving. I feel a good sense of their presence at church. 

I love helping other families with conjoined twins. I ask for you to pray for these families who have lost there beloved conjoined twins. All these babies had the most beautiful and hopeful families. Families that are so strong. If you know anyone going through the pregnancy of conjoined twins or who has lost there babies, please email me at aschulten@ymail.com

Miracles

Faith and Hope would have been 2 months old a couple days ago on November 6th. I miss them very much, they are my everything. I am constantly thinking about them. Everything I see or hear reminds me of them. 

Faith and Hope, I love you with all my heart.  I carry your heart in my heart, always. Love Mommy.

The other day I was in Hobby Lobby (Christian Hobby Store) and I saw something that read “Happily Together Forever” and right next to it there was a card that said Faith Hope Love. I started crying right there in the store. I didn’t care who was watching or what they were thinking. I was having one of those moments of grief. I have learned that during my mourning process, if you feel like crying then do it. Sometimes, you just need to sob, scream, and drench tissues and pillows in tears. Let it all out. Don’t hold back those tears or emotions. Let yourself feel sad, happy, depressed, scared or whatever you are feeling.  

I’ve been trying to surround myself with positive things. I can’t let the negative people get into my life. I need to be strong and know in my heart that God is our savior. I have been doing a lot of praying and going to church more than I have ever gone in my life. And I feel closer to God. I feel like a have a deep relationship with him. I view life differently. 

I am a true witness to what life is really about. It isn’t about who has the most friends. Or who has the most money. It is not about becoming rich and famous. It’s about loving your family and most of all loving God. 

God has given us a beautiful life. And He has blessed me with two miracles. Two souls that I hold so deep in my heart. But I don’t regret giving them 23 days to live and 8 months to grow inside me. They were miracles and showed me what life is all about.

Just look around today, a little bit harder than usual, and see if you can pick out Gods little miracles.