Tuesday, September 13, 2011

September 13th

At times I think it's strange when people email me saying I'm a good mom and example. I don't know any other way. Some even emailed saying more women should be like me. I don't really understand why? Are all moms not loving? How can parents not love their children? Honestly who can hate a beautiful child? Hmmm...something I have been thinking about...Is there really people out there that have no heart?

About my day...

The loud noises of the NICU drive me nuts. Every beep I hear scares me. Every flashing light bothers me. But I know they are in very good hands. These nurses and doctors that look over my daughters are amazing!! I just want to pick them up when I see them starting to cry. I want to be the one to rock them to sleep at night. I wish I could let them sleep on my chest and feel their little heart beating. I love watching their chest move with every beat of their shared heart. Last night when I close my eyes I think about how beautiful God made them. So pure and at peace. I also, think about all the other babies I see walking past. The ones I see with no family by them. The ones with no mommy or daddy. I can't go by those babies because it's against the law but I do pray for them. But they are wonderful parents here. I met some great and strong parents here. I feel so connected to them even though we just met. I can tell all of them love their children so much and would do anything for them. They always ask how faith and hope are doing. I love that strangers even ask how my babies are. Talking with other moms helps me feel not so alone here. All day I sit and stare at the monitor waiting to hold my daughters tightly in mommas arms. I love them so much!!!

The hospital has a scrap booking club for the families tomorrow. They supply everything for you and they develop pictures for you. I thought that was so sweet of the hospital to organize that. I have a big meeting tomorrow with a lot of doctors. We need to all put our heads together and form a plan. Hopefully we will discuss when we can take the girls home with us. Something I thought I'd like to share, before I leave for the night I hold each of their hands in mine and we say a pray. It's such a silly thing I do but I feel like it's working. Every thing I pray about with them comes true. I love my days with them.